Censorship
Thousands of women report having been censored or blocked from the Facebook group Breast Implant Illness and Healing by Nicole. If you were blocked, had a post declined, a comment, review or photo deleted, or experienced any form of censorship, please share your experience in the comments below. There is the option to attach supporting pictures or evidence.
Additionally, there have been allegations of internet stalking, harassment, bullying, defamation, and smear campaigns of individuals and doctors by said group. Notably, the group’s founder/admin was sued by a doctor for allegations of defamation and tortious interference of business (Kolb v Daruda).
Further, women have reported contacting her to request her society’s 2023 financial statement but have not received it. British Columbia Laws governing her society require a society to provide a financial statement upon request. Separately, there is an open investigation with the Canada Revenue Agency (CRA) regarding her society’s claims of being a registered charity for tax benefits, despite not appearing in the Canadian registered charity database.
Facebook support groups that allow discussion on these matters:
I was blocked from Nicole’s group after years of being in there for saying someone should take probiotics. I do sell them, however, I didn’t say a brand or try to direct them to myself. I simply said probiotics are crucial to gut health and she deleted the comment and blocked me. My explant pictures are in her group.
I was blocked and banned yesterday after sharing my honest experience with explant. That my Hashimoto’s was still a thing, lupus, MCTD etc. I stated that my mother also has Hashimoto’s and has never had breast implants. That sometimes it’s hereditary, hormones, perimenopause, menopause etc. and after that one comment, I was banned without explanation. I fell for BII too and haven’t had ANY improvement since explant and in fact worse in many areas. You aren’t allowed to share your honest experience on there. It gets you banned. Happened to me. She should be ashamed of herself.
SHE BLOCKED ME WHEN I HESTITANTLY SHARED A PICTURE OF MY LESS THAN PERECT EXPLANT RESULTS. IT TOOK ALOT OF COURAGE TO SHARE THOSE PHOTOS IN THE HOPES THAT OTHER PEOPLE WOULD REALIZE THAT EXPLANTING ISNT ALWAYS PRETTY. SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE REMOVED THE PHOTOS (WITHIN 1 OR 2 MINTUES OF ME POSTING THEM), BECAUSE SHE DIDNT WANT ME SCARING OTHER WOMEN AWAY FROM EXPLANTING.
There is an open CRA investigation on Nicole. There is a post in a public group that I saved, touching on some of it. https://www.facebook.com/groups/biiresearchandrecovery/posts/1823411198129522/
I got blocked after 5 years in it for saying “Thanks for sharing. This really helps me” after a woman posted her extremely botched results by a doctor on the list that I had down as my number one choice. Her post was removed and she was blocked along with every woman who posted a positive comment. If it weren’t for her honest post, I might have been botched by him too. Aside from this one comment, I had never made a post in the group. I don’t believe vulnerable women should be censored in this way. We should be able to make informed decisions. And then to remove their entire support systems for being honest is just cruel in my eyes.
Oh well I just got blocked because I made a comment about that we needed to be careful with the list of providers that Nicole had on the page because some women had very bad experiences. I didn’t say anything wrong just to always read reviews but not from one only place. This honestly confirms she doesn’t want other women know about it and that it’s true she is receiving money for recommendations. This is absolutely wrong and nobody should play with the health of others. People need to know this ASAP
I’ve never posted anything on Nicoles site but I’ve been a quiet observer for a couple of years. This morning though, I submitted this post which apparently was enough to get me removed and blocked.
“Doesn’t it seem strange that, on one hand, we fully acknowledge and recognize the severe harm caused by the medicopharmaceutical crime family, yet the advice is to seek solutions from those very perpetrators?
This system harms us at every turn, yet we continue to go back to them for solutions to their own harms.
It’s like a medical version of battered wife syndrome.
They almost exclusively dismiss our symptoms, claiming it’s all in our heads, suggesting we’re mentally ill, or insisting that nothing is wrong. Even when they acknowledge visible or lab-confirmed health issues, they deny any correlation to breast implants and fail to search for root causes. The solutions are always the same three: cut, burn, or poison. They don’t connect any dots and rely on a “pill for every ill” philosophy.
Does this not bother anyone else? It’s truly perplexing that I’m forced to return to the scene of the crime and beg the criminal to give me back the health that they deny taking.
Seriously pissed
Janel
That’s terrible. I’ve been a silent observer for years and never posted anything and I was randomly blocked from the group and when I messages Admin Kristen Lapoint, my message was never responded to.
Got blocked from the group for answering a question. I spent hours typing responses with helpful info (related to Chinese medicine, not selling anything, just thoughts I’ve had about health) and then someone asked who my surgeon will be. I mentioned Dr Khan, who she has blacklisted – and who was publicly accused of insurance fraud by what I presume is one of her minions, coincidentally after he accused her of being paid by surgeons. I said I really felt treated like a human being by his office.
Something told me to screenshot a bunch of stuff and sure enough, hours later, I was deleted. I’m sickened and angry that she can masquerade as someone who cares while deleting info like that. I’m hurt about how many women are missing out on info because of these blocking masquerades. While I’m internet savvy and will do just fine without that resource, what about the women who relied on the group? I’m so disgusted by all this.
I got removed a month ago for noticing someone was wearing a lifewave patch in one of her post op pics. Gone. she didn’t block me then but yesterday morning I submitted a post posing a question and she removed me and blocked me. As well, when I tried to post that same post here on this site it was also denied without explanation. My thoughts are just as valid as anyone else’s. I’m also disgusted by this
Hi Janel, your post and comment have been approved here. Thank you for sharing your experience!
I be too just got blocked and deleted a few days ago by Nicole…. Because I wrote a comment saying I drink a detox tea and it makes me feel great!!! 😊 cured my inflammation.
What detox tea is it? My inflammation is terrible.
I just heard that your posts in the group remain up even after you are blocked?! If this is the case, I will be LIVID. I spent a good half hour writing my “story” post, and I included very personal details. How can anyone let us post such vulnerable stories and then just leave them up with us no longer in there?! So wrong.
Report that group and that psycho Nicole in every way you can.
I also was removed because I uploaded a positive detox post from Krystal a former playboy bunny , that also was bedridden from BII . And to speed and help her detox of heavy metals after her explant she had stem cell therapy, and recommended it immensely . Clearly Nicole does not want us BII victims to recover by alternative methods if she is not being paid !
Hi All. Good afternoon. Guess whatt. I got Blocked from … you all know🤣🤣🤣🤣 I just open my own group 2 weeks ago, and I try to share something from my group to her group ….and I got Not Deleted….. Blockedddd. How can u feel intimidated by a group 2 weeks old with 45 members? In my group everybody will be welcome to post things from other groups, if we can help womens, thats the idea. To help womens. No have a competition between groups. I even have posts in my group Mentioning her and with the proper Credits. Of course I delete them all already. She dont want post from my small group in her group, I do not have to mention her either. She is Rude and Egoist. So egoist. I didnt explant yet. I have my surgery for June this year. Is not nice to be treated like this when we are all in the same boat. We need respect, and empathy. I use to give her Credits and mention her group, but not anymore, sorry. Not anymore
Attachment
Just thought I’d share my experience yesterday
Please beware of Nicole Darudas site for recommendations (Breast Implant Illness and Healing by Nicole), if you want an honest answer or opinion or advice. A lady in AZ had wrote in asking for recommendations on a surgeon. I being 8 months postop from surgery, and having had a horrible experience, just suggested not to use Dr Becker and told my experience. She didn’t like that and blocked all I had to say and me from the site.
I shared that I came out of surgery in severe pain and the nurse threw a fit about having to give me pain meds. I myself am a nurse. She literally gave me pain meds and within 30 minutes I was being wheeled to my car. My husband was so upset as I was still in pain and bawling that they didn’t have the courtesy to wait until my pain was under control.
Then I was called the next day by a nurse and she asked how everything went. I explained to her what happened. She then went on to tell me that she couldn’t believe they didn’t keep me longer as I Quit breathing on the table. So they literally booted me out within 30 minutes post op and having quit breathing and uncontrollable pain.
I felt like I was unnecessarily cut from rib to rib! I guess I had no idea that it would be like that as I had seen several other incisions and they had more of a gap between the incisions. I know that it’s apart of surgery though and what I signed up for.
Nicole Darudas herself asked me for the pictures!! So when I started sharing another lady chimed in defending Dr Becker. ALL I was doing was giving the lady who asked, my opinion. I told her that it might be a good idea to go with a different provider.
Nicole Darudas then started removing my info from the site (pictures and videos) and when I questioned it, she blocked me! As a nurse myself, it makes me believe she is being paid for referrals.
View Attachment
I was blocked for recommending a group specific to my area. I didn’t see the harm since the members of the local group have experience with the surgeons in our area. Plus there’s other helpful info in the group.
Most of the posts didn’t have comments so I figured the smaller group would be better. So much for being helpful.
I explanted 17 months ago. Nicole finally questioned my full capsulectomy. I posted photos for her to say “that’s not total” and take my post down. I questioned her medical background to judge that when I have medical reports and photos stating it is total. She blocked me. I have since found this group. She is continuing to disregard mine and hundreds of other women’s surgeons who are fabulous yet she promotes a surgeon who loves implants and states there is no such this as BII. I am happy not to be part of a money hungry toxic group. And have since seen allegedly that she has multiple law suits against her for hate speech, stalking etc.
she cannot and will not ruin my personal journey.
Attachment
I was blocked by Nicole after i was butchered by a doctor on her “recommendation list”. I was looking for support from other members and nicole didnt want me talking negatively about a doctor i found out pays her to be on her list. What a scam
View Attachment
Please name the doctor so we all can avoid him.
Attachment
I recall your post from March 2019. It was disgraceful that Nicole blocked you shortly after your post.
View Attachment
Attachment
Following the backlash on her surgeon list in the comments, hurting her ego, Nicole responded the next day with a defensive post, aiming to protect her list and the surgeon. In it she shifted blame and employed gaslighting tactics, all under the guise of virtue signaling.
In stating that the group’s purpose is support, she contradicts herself hypocritically by silencing and removing you and numerous others during their most vulnerable moments when support is needed. The disparity between her stated intentions and actual actions unveils the reality beneath the surface.
View Attachment
Attachment
I saved your response on her post too, which offers a more credible perspective, dismissing and shedding light on the blame-shifting and gaslighting elements in her post.
I can’t fathom experiencing what you went through, only to be silenced and ruthlessly removed from a group that played a crucial role in grooming you for surgery and recommending a surgeon from their list that they push on members. Nicole should be held accountable.
View Attachment
Attachment
These are just a handful of recent screenshots from women who were blocked by Nicole after they donated or didn’t donate. There’s even more than this. It was all I could fit on one page. We blocked out the names and profile photos of these women, just in case Nicole ever sees this, so that she won’t find/stalk them on Facebook and harass them, as she’s been known to do.
View Attachment
Attachment
Someone posted for donations on her page and stated that all donations are eligible for tax write offs for donating to a charity. I posted a comment asking where to find her charity as registered. My comment was deleted and I was sent a warning and a note saying she is non profit. Then she removed me from the group
View Attachment
Attachment
I can’t figure out how to add this to one of my comments below so I’ll just add if here if it helps at all. I have a screenshot of when Nicole removed my comment after I had asked for financial statements and what the donations go towards. She instantly removed my comment and then removed me from the group. Now I’m blocked as well. All for asking where all of these donations go. And I’m not the only woman she’s done that to. She’s hiding something, for sure. I wish I had a screenshot of my comment, but I don’t as I didn’t think she would remove it then block me over it lol
View Attachment
Attachment
I joined Nicole’s group around mid June. I was blocked from the group and her other group called Breast Implant Lawsuits. I was blocked from Breast Implant Illness Healing by Nicole because I tried to post a podcast I was on about my severe BII and my healing journey a month after explant. I wanted women to hear my story so I could help them from a support aspect as I am not a doctor. She blocks anyone if they try to help other women and share their stories. She asks for money on that page which I refused to donate. She is a scammer. On the lawsuit group she asks for an ID to join. I did not submit one when I joined that group. I was immediately blocked. It is against fb rules to ask for someone’s personal information. She is using that to scam people. See attachments
View Attachment
I was kicked out of Nicole’s group because I mentioned some people having terrible experiences with one of the surgeons she recommended in Houston. I was looking for a doctor in Texas. Not having a lot of resources at the time and being kicked out by Nicole, I looked online for surgeons. Testing the capsules was important to me and I went with Dr. Robert Whitfield in Austin. I really thought I was in amazing hands at first. He was also very expensive so I thought I was with the best, I paid 13K for explant and lift.
I was scared and now feel God was trying to tell me my fear was legitimate. My implants were under the muscle and he took a hacksaw to my chest to take them out. I found others, like me, injured from his surgery. He shot me full of pain medicine in my chest and when that wore off in 5 days I was in so much pain. (Most doctors do not inject pain medicine into the chest if they take their time) His hacksaw approach created horrific scar tissue that I could not lift my arm past my shoulder six months after surgery. And when I complained that I could not move my arm in my six month post op, he took that as an insult and was very aggressive towards me. He ripped my phone out of my hand and degraded the other doctors that were trying to help me figure out why I could not lift my arm. If you present a problem, he will get rid of you the problem as he has done to many of women. There is a clinic that does deep tissue release work and they refer to us broken ones as “another Whitfield girl”. I look back on my choice and wish I could redo my surgery so I would have made a better choice in the surgery style so I could have healed faster. Anyone can send your implants off for testing.
Attachment
Commenting again to add that she has since dedicated an entire post all about me on her Facebook page. I feel so special. I can’t see it obviously since she blocked me, but a current member on it reached out to me with a screenshot of it. I find it comical, but not surprising, that she leaves out many important details lol Also, I see she loves to throw out the word “slander” everywhere. Ohhhh Nicole, don’t you know, it’s not slander if it’s TRUTH 😉
She needs a very long break from social media and a deep cleansing of her moral compass. She’s just digging herself deeper and deeper. I’ve never seen so many women all at once come together in their disgust for her. Yikes. How embarrassing.
View Attachment
Nicole and Dee Hicks are scam artist! They should be ashamed of themselves for misleading women who are already struggling to heal themselves. Now I don’t trust BII or any surgeon on her list. I have been blocked, I believe for joining some of these other groups. She I believe has spy’s in the other groups that report back to her. Than she blocks you for questioning anything. I don’t know what work she does because every time I tried to ask a specific question she would deny my post. She would tell me to go look it up in the files. I wanted to know the experience of all the women in the group. I wanted to hear what they said got better from having their explant. She would never allow my posts. She is an evil person who is misleading women into believing an explant will fix all. Also that everything is wonderful after explant. She doesn’t allow both sides of the journey to be told. Your posts are only approved if you are praising a doctor on her list or you were saying how great you feel. Rarely did I ever see specifics of what got better for these women. All I would ever see is I’m not tired anymore, the whites of my eyes are brighter or I could breathe right after surgery. Well if your pumped up full of pain, meds, nerve blocks in your chest, just been on oxygen for hours, I believe you may feel good when you wake up. I wanted to know how people felt and looked two weeks later, a month later, six months later, one year later, I wanted to know the good and the bad. I wanted to know exactly what got better. So many women in her group. You think you would see people saying their ears don’t ring anymore their joints don’t hurt anymore. Their eyesight is better, their sensitivities have gone away, etc .. lots of pictures of how great their new breasts look. I didn’t see hardly any of this. The two years I was looking. She is a corrupt woman, and she should be in a lot of trouble for misleading so many women.
I was supposed to have surgery with Dr. Rankin and Jupiter Florida a month before my surgery I was canceled. They didn’t even have the decency to call me and tell me why. I was sent an email telling me that I was not a right fit for the office, and that my deposit was being sent back to me. Short and sweet. I believe the reason I was thrown out was because I asked too many questions on Nicole‘s page. Nicole and Dee Hicks are in cahoots together. I reached out to Dee that next day, asking her why I was canceled. She told me that I was rude to her on the phone the day before. I had talked to her for nine minutes on the phone, expressing my concern of how to detox after my explant . She tell me that I have already asked that question before. I don’t remember asking that question before to her but so what if I had. She could just answer me. And said she was rude and hostile. She told me that Rankin’s office doesn’t help with detox so I said I thought this office was supposed to help me get better. She took that defensively. And told me the next day when I had called and asked why I was canceled that I was rude by asking that question. I really did believe they were going to help me get better, tell me what to do to detox. So because of that conversation she had me canceled. I cried and begged her not to cancel me. Because between her and Nicole group they had convinced me I am going to die if I don’t get these implants out now. She still would not give me my surgery date back. it took a few days and she called and told me I could go to the sister group in Miami Florida. Dr Dev I was so nervous about all of this. I went ahead and made an appointment with Dr. Dev‘s office. I was unable to go all the way to Miami to meet him. He would not even do a FaceTime call with me. Only a phone call. He was very cold and told me that my nipples could fall off. In those words. I didn’t feel like I could ask any questions of this doctor because of what happened at Dr. Rankin. I was afraid they would cancel me for asking questions. Thank God I found out about these other groups before my surgery. I found all kinds of ladies that have been treated the same way by Nicole and by Dee Hicks so I canceled my January 18 surgery. I did not feel comfortable after everything I have seen and read about Nicole’s page and her doctors list. I am still sick and I need help. I am continuing to look for qualified, compassionate surgeon. Feel free to reach out to me if you know any great doctors in Florida. I have no way of going out of state for surgery. They made me feel so bad. I felt like it was my fault that I got canceled that I shouldn’t be asking all these questions. That I should’ve just trusted the process like they would tell me. Well I’m very glad I trusted my intuition. And I’m very glad that Dee Hicks had me canceled. I’m sure they’re more qualified surgeons out there that care actually about the person getting better. Not about the 14 K. God bless you all on this scary journey. I hope you all heal and get better.
Lisa
I had joined Nicole’s Facebook group a couple of months ago. I’ve had implants for 5 years now and looking to explant (I live in FL). That group *was* a wonderful support. It’s run by Nicole Daruda and about 5 other admins. A couple of times a month, they post asking their 185,000 members to donate to their nonprofit. They made another post like that last night. I commented, “I would love to donate, but am curious where I could download the Financial Statements first to see where the money goes. I love what you’re doing, I’m just cautious about things like this.” Then this morning, I see that I have been removed from the group.
Very fishy. I have also checked on their website just now and there is a link at the very bottom where you can pull up their financial statements. So why couldn’t an admin just have commented back, “Hi Michelle! All of our Financial Statements can be found on our website. Thanks for your support!” Nope.
Instead, I was removed from the group for asking 🤔 I’ve since shared this occurrence with a few other BII/explant related Facebook groups and wow – hundreds of women commented back with only negative things to say about Nicole. Some even with screenshots of their messages with Nicole showing what an awful human being she is. I highly doubt she’s donating any of that money to help the cause. It’s probably just all going to fund herself. What a scam she is.
Attachment
I’ve noticed many instances where women have been blocked by Nicole Daruda for raising questions about donations. I saved this post on the topic from 2019, and I encourage everyone to read it.
View Attachment
Attachment
Woman blocked for asking a donation question.
View Attachment
Attachment
Another woman blocked after asking a donation question.
View Attachment
A year later after posting my warning about Ignacio Buenrostro Rubio on Nicole’s list who she blocked me over, he has officially paralyzed a patient and is being sued in Mexico.
Here is the recent conversation with Nicole ADMITTING SHE DOES STALK AND TAKE SCREENSHOTS OF group members on other pages before she had FB a few days ago fully clear the message chats that I have screenshots of and a file download of.
Make sure you screenshot, share and download via zip file through FB your chats with her to have for future evidence.
View Attachment
Attachment
.
Nicole just muted me for trying to support a woman in her breastfeeding journey after explant. She told me basically that I had harmed my child and that even if my child is okay she “won’t be in a few years.” I’m so beyond disgusted at these evil words which by the way are not scientifically supported. I believe in BII but the extremism on the page is scary. They want people to be terrified of even using a silicone baking mat. The attacks on mothers and implying harm on their children are beyond the pale and unconscionable.
The only “Highly Recommended” surgeon on Nicole’s list for the state of Georgia is not even a Board Certified Surgeon. Just an MD. I asked why. They said he was then blocked me… I assure you I have looked up and down on all the websites. At the time I am writing this Dr Paul McCluskey is not a board certified plastic surgeon. His realself rating is at a 2.2 and so many women are getting butchered by following her advice. It is so sad. When anyone speaks out they get blocked.
Wow, this chic is a Nazi (allegedly)! I’m a registered nurse who believes in holistic care and healing which is why I had an explant. Looking for support, I joined the group and must say I was REALLY put off by the REQUIREMENT to agree to go directly to her website after approval and make a donation. I said yes but then didn’t make the donation because I first wanted to get a feel for the group and see if it was worth supporting. Well I’m pretty sure she makes note of who donates and not because every post I tried to make was denied. I posted that I was feeling down about how my breast looked after surgery and yes it was still early on but I had seen dozens of other women post the EXACT same thing and were approved. I didn’t post pictures but was just looking for encouragement. In her denial explanation she said that I needed to wait a year before making any conclusions and if I was still concerned to call my surgeon. Really!?? Honestly my surgeon is AMAZING but he’s not on her beloved “list” so I didn’t dare utter his name for fear of chastising… I had seen evidence of that from other Women’s comments. So I went on for months without trying to post anything and the other day I decided to ask a question “can I deduct the surgery expenses on my taxes”… post denied. When I asked why, I WAS REMOVED FROM THE GROUP!! Lmao!!! What!??? Seriously!? What person in their right mind thinks that’s a reason to remove someone from a group!?
So then Nicole tried to friend me, I guess so she can check out my profile and stalk me? Idk. Anyway, I blocked HER. I literally did NOTHING wrong except I guess I never donated and I’m an RN. There are lots of snarky comments by her and her admins about how drs and nurses aren’t really welcome there because most don’t support the BII idea. Well, I did and I do. I don’t trust the medical community anymore than they do but just because I have RN behind my name, I’m not welcome? Okay. Whatever. Too much drama. I have support elsewhere and my surgeon is generous and amazing. He is doing a fat transfer for me for free just because he wants me to be happy and he doesn’t have to do that. He does it for his patients because he actually cares. He deserves to be on almighty “list” but he doesn’t need it. He’s booked out for 9 months so not like he needs the business. Anyway, glad I got out of the cult before I needed reprogramming. Sheesh.
I just left this group. Also had posts declined that were very similiar to others I see approved. Any suggestions on where to get some real support? I just implanted and explanted within the span of 10 weeks due to systemic reaction. I’m physically, emotionally, and financially a wreck and I did not get any warm and fuzzies. I’m kathleen darcy pelkey on fb if you have any suggestions. Thank you so much
Hi Faith, I’m sorry about your experience. Do you mind sharing you surgeon?
Attachment
Nicole kicked me out last night after I proposed the idea of helping women that can’t pay for explant and have to live with ruptured implants or in pain because they have no money. She said that was not possible and kicked me out.
View Attachment
And yet she still makes women assume that their donations are going towards other women needing aid for explant. 😡
I was beginning my journey to explant and found Nicole’s group. I wish I had known the cult like mantra before I gad joined. They use extreme scare tactics and only accept women explanting enbloc. They do not support the thousands of women who have difficulty in accepting their new bodies as they will ban many for mentioning fat transfer. I questioned her non for profit on another group as they were discussing the donations she was seeking (which I had literally just donated to). Her minion spies obviously didn’t like that I questioned her group making a profit. I said nothing cruel, just a innocent question on how her page is being run and what she does with the profits she makes. One would think giving back and helping those not fortunate enough to explant would be a great idea. She b,o led me wishing an hour of posting in this other group. I tried to cancel my donation but could not do so. Anyone looking to explant should stay far, far away from these women as they will brain wash you and most likely not to your benefit.
Attachment
Bully tactics! All I said was ‘the other’ group wouldn’t let me post about a doctor’s secretary telling me capsules are assimilated, and stating this was a huge red flag for me…
View Attachment
I am a former investigative journalist and spiritual healer (ascenscion guide). I work as a psychic medium and a guide to mind/body/soul healing. I had been sick for many years one only learned of Bii a few months prior to my explant in 2021 and found Nicole’s page. After my explant I was shown by my spirit guides the connection to the breast implants and the energy body system and how they block the Cho from flowing through the bpdy. So it was a very enlightening topic that o thought many women would also want to consider while deciding if they were going to explant or not.
I shared the information on the group and before I knew it I was blocked. No warning. No response to my messages. Nothing. It was a real slap in the face because I just explanted and really needed the support of the community. But also because I am extremely well aware of my gifts as a medium and a channel, and knew that the message was important to other women. I am appalled at the grotesque and mechanical behavior. No compassion. No warnings. No comradely. No sisterhood. Just a hard smack!! I run many large groups online and I’m well aware of the ability to decline posts if they aren’t allowed, and even to give reasons why it’s declined. But she didn’t do that. She just flat removed me. It was a disgrace to all of us.
Yesterday, Nicole declined my post regarding detoxing. I’m on day 17 post-op. Up until two days ago, I have felt great considering everything. I started feeling dizzy (almost like vertigo), very fatigued, and overly emotional. Like I can’t cry enough. I’m on BioTe hormone replacement so it’s not hormones.
Apparently I broke the rules.. She said I’m not detoxing, just healing from surgery and blamed it on anesthesia. (Anesthesia is only in your system for 72 hours.) I realize I’m still healing. But I know what I’m experiencing is detox waves. No one knows your body more than you do. I felt very invalidated. I have dealt with that enough from doctors. I don’t need to deal with that from her. I left that group. I’m sure eventually she would have kicked me out anyways. Has anyone else dealt with this?
Attachment
Wow!! I’m just in shock. I’ve had this website bookedmarked for years. This is where I first learned of BII and I chose Dr. Chun based on this website. I explanted on 5/4 and stumbled upon Nicole group. First off there’s way too many people. And today someone asked me after I made a comment to find a surgeon on the list (not realizing this list was different than hers) and that choosing a surgeon who still does implants is a red flag for me. The comment was deleted because I had people asking what list I used and that her list still has surgeons on there that does implants. I then made a post about this website and it was declined. I basically said it can be used as an additional resource. They declined it and said that the information on this website was stolen from Nicoles. How do I know that? It just really rubbed me the wrong way and I scrolled down on here and saw all of these comments and it all makes sense now. What a joke of a website and group hers is.
Nicole Daruda has copied parts of this website at times, here are just a few examples (there are more). https://www.breastimplantillness.com/cybersecurity-updates/
When Nicole started her explant surgeon list, there were other surgeon lists at the time and she took surgeons from those lists onto hers along with the general information on explant and BII that has been passed down since the 90s. There was even once a website called explantinfo.com with a surgeon list and its own Facebook group, both prior to Nicole’s website and Facebook group. Nicole went to war with the creator of that website, Lynne Hayes, as she has done now with ours.
Thank you for helping to document the alleged cyberbullying, harassment and defamatory smear campaign originating from Nicole towards this website that has been ongoing for years. She has done smear campaigns towards others as well, including surgeons and women.
Furthermore, their use of the word vet is simply a form of political propaganda to dissuade an audience from trusting another website so they maintain control and monopoly on BII/explants.
Attachment
Here is my original thread regarding Nicole and her denying my review of Buenrostro back in June with screenshots of her conversation. After this she ended up declining additional reviews regarding Buenrostro completely botching or performing unsatisfactory work on patients needing additional surgeries.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/414785282624352/permalink/1213728869396652/
Here is my current overview regarding Buenrostro and Nicole who is still protecting him and refusing to remove him from her list leaving more patients at risk:
I initially chose Ignacio Buenrostro since he came highly on Healing by Nicole BII Facebook group and great reviews on Doctoralia. it wasn’t until after surgery I found out these reviews are all paid for and he pays to filter out all negative reviews which is unethical and illegal.
He promised to perform BIA-ALCL and further indepth testing since I was literally in my deathbed, and also provide the operative notes and overview during initial consultation which now he refuses to provide and only stated he would initially so I would book the surgery. Multiple other patients are also being denied their post op notes for personal records and to submit to insurance for reimbursement, clearly showing Buenrostro does not care about women suffering from BII or spending five minutes to send them the documents needed for insurance and only about the money in his pocket.
After surgery I noticed something off while at their recovery house and Dr Alejandra Gonzalez Reyes flat out refused to spend the two minutes to check the area which over time turned into a massive disgusting opened wound. One of my last days at the recovery house I had the drain jabbing a nerve causing my arm to go numb and full body to twitch uncontrollably. I begged for hours to be seen at the recovery house, and all doctors flat out refused or even to be present when the drains were removed and the last consultation, but Buenrostro and Dr. Alejandra attempting to avoid responsibility tried to claim I refused to see them which all the audio and transcripts clearly prove them lying.
He is refusing to reimburse patients the cost of the surgery, the further costs to heal damage he caused by doing unauthorized tissue transfers that the body was expected to reject due to the amount of inflammation, mental anguish caused by him and his staff victim blaming and seeing how deformed he has made us, and cost to have an even more invasive and expensive reconstruction after completely deforming women who have already suffered enough, yet he is so narcissistic that he thinks we would actually return to him for a second operation after how he has maimed us, lied and treated us like absolute disposable garbage. He won’t even remove testimonial videos from his site when asked after the patients realized they have been butchered by this arrogant sub-par surgeon.
He has botched multiple other patients where now I am being considered to be cast on E! Network’s show BOTCHED with Dr. Nassif and Dr. Dubrow, and another patient of his is already cast on the show. This alone should be a red flag to potential patients that so many of his patients had such horrific surgeries performed by Buenrostro to be considered and shown on this popular internationally aired TV show.
Please check on the “Deleted/Blocked by Healing by Nicole FB group” for a full transcript of my conversations with Buenrostro and his staff blatantly lying to me that illustrates how they treat their patients, and also the conversation with Nicole refusing to post anything negativecabout Buenrostro and allowing more women to be botched by him which I learn increases weekly.
Since Buenrostro blocked me from this site to avoid having me post my experience, search the various BII sites under “Teri McAlister Trujillo” to pull up the massive amount of horrific treatment I was subjected to.
Be aware also that he pays Healing by Nicole to remove all negative reviews and to still be on her list. So far 3 of Buenrostro’s patients tried to post their negative experiences on Nicole’s site and were all deleted/declined. Multiple other BII groups have already removed him from their lists, and more are in the process of deleting him completely with new patients coming forward and the negative media attention he is about to receive.
I am currently working with legal professionals and journalists to expose Buenrostro and his practice to hopefully provide monetary compensation to the patients he deformed. The more patients that come forward, the stronger our case will be to stop Dr. Ignacio Buenrostro and his assistant Dr. Alejandra Gonzalez Reyes from taking advantage of more women who have already suffered enough or lost everything due to BII.
Please message me if you have been affected by these con artists, know additional lawyers or journalists interested in this malpractice case, or have any further information to hold Dr Buenrostro and Dr. Alejandra accountable.
View Attachment
Breast Implant Illness and Healing by Nicole is a complete scam! It’s a complete fraud! Total lies. It is the most censored site on the Internet! You are only allowed to be a member if you pay a donation (for a free Facebook group), agree that explant is the best thing that ever happened, agree that all implants are toxic, and if you don’t get better after explant it’s only because you haven’t waited long enough. Your body is just having “detox” flares.
And if you dare say anything different, you will be blocked immediately.
I have also been trying to share my horrific explant experience by Dr. Buenrostro in Guadalajara, and Nicole has blocked me from responding to people stating that it may scare potential explant patients from having their surgery. It is supposed to scare potential patientsto know the truth bc I am going through absolute hell and don’t want others to experience the same bc I took Nicole’s sugar coated filtered reviews as face value and thought I could trust Dr. Buenrostro bc all negative comments I know now were deleted.
Any negative explant experience or comments about doctors on the list she deletes within 48 hours and this is no different than the biomedical companies lying and deceiving people for their own personal gain.
Does anyone know of possible legal steps that could be taken against her or the nonprofit for misrepresentation and fraud for preying on a vulnerable group of women?
Attachment
I was blocked when I asked about the donations.
View Attachment
Attachment
I looked at the financials and found it curious that there is a line item for wages and benefits. It is the majority of the money. She’s running a free Facebook page and website. Who is she paying and why? Maybe herself for just administering the page and website? I don’t see anywhere she has used that money to educate other women. Hmmmm!
View Attachment
I just left this group. Also had posts declined that were very similiar to others I see approved. Any suggestions on where to get some real support? I just implanted and explanted within the span of 10 weeks due to systemic reaction. I’m physically, emotionally, and financially a wreck and I did not get any warm and fuzzies. I’m kathleen darcy pelkey on fb if you have any suggestions. Thank you so much
Attachment
I was a 3 year follower and active participant in Nicole’s group. I finally had the opportunity to explant last Monday May 16th, with Dr. VENKAT RAO in Madison, WI for $2,700.00. I was reffered to this surgeon by another member who had a successful surgery with him and is also a resident of WI. This price included a capsulectomy and bi lateral silicone implant removal, anesthesia, surgery suite, nursing care before and after and a consult, pre op and post op appointments. The surgery was a success and I awoke with drains placed and received several RX to manage nausea, pain and constipation.
I, upon removal felt better almost immediately the next day. So I did what most others have- I posted my experience on Nicole’s page. I believed that I was providing other women with a breath of fresh air after seeing so many struggle for years and be quoted astronomical costs for explant.
I posted a before and after set of photos appropriately censored and I received a denial notice a few moments after with an explanation that shook me to my core. I edited my post according to the procedure I thought I had done and according to the page’s “standards.” Yet again I was met with a denial and a catty response accusing my doctor of not properly performing the surgery due to the “low cost.” I was also told i could not post my experience without photos, implants or uploading my surgical notes that proved I had an enbloc/ capsulectomy.
I showed surgical notes as that is all I have at this time and was not provided with any photos, nor could I keep my implants. I indeed had a capsulectomy, but according to the notes she determined it was not a “total cap.” And therefore could not be shared.
I expressed my concern about her accusing my doctor of essentially lying in his surgical notes and told her she wasn’t in a place to act as a medical professional or make accusations.
She then blocked me from commenting and deleted me.
I expressed my concern to her about blocking women experiencing financial hardship from accessing this doctor’s information.
I told her I would share elsewhere (as in my story and experience with Dr. Rao) and she then stated that I was going to share others experiences on other platforms.
I do not know for certain that the admin I was dealing with was Nicole herself, but I am unaware of any others on the page.
I am discovering some facts about the “not-for- profit” and paying certain doctor’s, censoring more women and I have more questions and concerns than answers.
I will attach screenshots of the conversation between us last night.
View Attachment
Hi Ashley this is very concerning as I was a 4 year women in group referred by a friend who just explanted – I had my consult scheduled 2 x in 2021 and cxl fear money etc and now have scheduled June 13 2022 with a top doc on list in Baltimore MD and have been active in group past few days and today BAM no group I’m out and blocked – no email no nothing – have no idea what I possibly could have done !
https://www.facebook.com/groups/353195993507871/?ref=share
I was also blocked after donating to her “platform” to help pay her admin fees. Another group mentioned the donations she takes from several of her “top surgeons” , as well as the fact she is now asking for donations to help run her non profit. I commented on the post and POOF, blocked.
Anyone onto her “business”, questioning her narrative, or not seeing amazing results (because they didn’t use one of her surgeons 😂), gets blocked.
Her webpage should be shut down indefinitely as it is a false narrative she is feeding everyone. She is not in this to support women but to line her pockets. The proof is out there and the screenshots are circulating. No doubt she is chopping off her own hand by doing this to so many women in need. Word will continue to spread.
Any ladies reading this who currently need support, there are many fabulous, loving women ready to give you exactly that. Her group, although large, is not the place to look for help, trust us as we all learned the hard way. She will send you to explant (enbloc only, wether you need it or not). When you are disfigured and upset she will cut you off and block you. Do your research ladies!!
Omg I just was blocked after asking a question on donations as I thought the group was started in USA not Canada / so messed up !
My name is Erin Elizabeth and I’m a journalist and my website is healthnutnews. Well over 10 years ago when I think Nicole was just getting her implants put in, I was getting mine out. I’ve written a book about it that I’ve given away to over 1 million people who have downloaded it. I posted about my experience in her group and simply talked about Dr. Susan Kolb, with whom I understand she was involved in a lawsuit and Dr. Kolb told me that she allegedly lost everything because of Nicole. I’m only going on what I’ve heard.
I have had countless medical professionals write me and come up to me in person when I’m lecturing at events around the country and tell me how scared they are of her and things she has allegedly done.
I know the doctors donate to the website and I hear there are allegedly kickbacks and some awful stories about some of those doctors.
At least one of the moderators came to my group and started bullying me because I talked about fat transfer.
There are several medical doctors in the industry that I know along with many medical professional that Do not respect the group and won’t be a part of it. I don’t blame them. But then again we have ethics so that’s what we choose
What is the name of your book?
Also your email about blocked boxes RXs made me quit mine cold turkey and see a Natro instead ☺️
Ironically Ignacio Buenrostro Rubio advertises a great deal about fat transfer now, yet Nicole Daruda still won’t remove him from her list. She knew he paralyzed that woman in 2021 before my botched explant and still protects him.
I am also one of the victims of Nicole‘s group which she runs like a cult. I instantly join the group wanted to find out more about breast implant illness. I was trying to determine if breast implant illness was in fact a real thing and just asked on the page if there were any peer reviewed studies because it seems like most of the stuff she was posting in the URL it was linked to her. I don’t see any harm in asking if something has been pure reviewed, posted by a legitimate scientific organization or university and just for asking this I was banned. When I asked in messenger why I was banned I was told that how dare I question things on her website. She seems like she’s an extreme narcissist and definitely not out for the well-being of others. The page is being marketed as a support group but instead it seems like it has a hidden agenda of being run like a nonprofit organization for her to make money off people from donations and other side money. She needs to be exposed.
I used a surgeon that was “recommended“ by Nicole’s group G Peter Fakhre in Wesley Chapel Florida. After being butchered by him i posted on Nicoles group looking for support. She didnt like that members were questioning why this surgeon was being recommended and called to have him removed from the list. I got blocked and so did a bunch of other members that supported me There is ZERO doubt in my mind she gets paid by those surgeons I can provide lots of pics for reference. It wont let me upload them here due to size
I was removed from the group for warning people about Dr. Paul McCluskey in Atlanta, Georgia. Nicole recommends him and he is NOT board certified.
Explant was 2/20/2020 so this massacre is 2 years old.
At first I didn’t realize how bad it was until the swelling subsided, I think I was trying to convince myself it looked OK. McCluskey set my nipples WAY too high. When I went on to see him (I think it was August of 2020), about it, he blamed my 16 pound weight gain on this.
Mind you, I gave a thyroid cancer survivor and have no thyroid, this was during the pandemic, and I had/have BII. My weight fluctuates and I am very sensitive about it and McCluskey made me feel like I was morbidly obese.
McCluskey quoted me around 3k TO FIX HIS F-UP!
I went to Ghazi last year with Tia and Ghazi says my weight WAS NOT the issue. Technically my nipples are the measurements they are supposed to be from my collar bone BUT on me they should have been lower due to my body shape- obviously McCluskey only knows measurements and not aesthetics. He had no idea how to modify anything for my body.
And yes, I was there when he marked me. There were so many marks I had no idea what I was looking at and he’s allegedly the expert.
My whole experience with McCluskey was/is a nightmare. I am working hard at getting in shape again ( I was literally sick all of 2020/2021-non Covid related-highly suggest seeing a functional doctor after explant to help you heal). Ghazi said when I’m happy with my body weight to come back and he will try to fix it, but unfortunately you can’t move nipples down.
Also, I had INSANE pain in my sutures. McCluskey said that was normal. Ghazi gave me cortisone injections which brought sooo much relief.
And, because my nipples are so high, the bras don’t protect them well and they are always being rubbed. It hurts like crazy.
So, if you are scheduled with McCluskey, I hope these pictures and my story, along with many others on this page, change your mind. If I heard these stories, I never would have had my surgery with him.
And, if you cancel, please tell him I am the reason you are canceling. I want him to know that I will continue to tell everyone how he butchered my breasts.
And don’t believe his lies as to why he’s not board certified. He tells everyone a different story. The truth is that his surgerical skills are abhorrent and juvenile.
Attachment
Post removed for editing without new info. So funny because the updates added both after surgery and in comments. The reason (and only given when I posted a question asking if anyone else experiened similar which of course was rejected) was because I edited the pist too many times and didn’t add any info.I did correct typos and removed an awful photo of my face pre surgery I later didn’t want to be in the post. Then I looked to see all of the posts I’d ever made were gone. So much for a support group. Sent Nicole a PM which of course was ignored.
View Attachment
What can I even say about Nicole’s group. At first it seemed great. A bunch of women being supportive of each other. It didn’t take me long to figure out what was happening. Pretty early on I figured out why certain doctors were on the group and certain ones weren’t. My doctor was explanting only for 20 years. He never made the list of explant surgeons. But dr Derosa did. She implanted me and when I was upset with her for almost killing me and leaving permanent sutures in me she denied me as her patient. Anyways I figured she was getting kickbacks because my posts were denied about derosa.
Nicole denied most of my posts for being real. I was going through a hard time and a lot of my issues came back. I screen shot my denials years ago so I don’t have them anymore. At the time I needed the most support I was banned from the group. I felt abandoned again. I agree with the other comments. Say one thing Nicole disagrees with and you’re denied. It’s not right. Everyone heals and things differently. Just because some of us didn’t heal in a flash doesn’t mean we don’t need support. And this is a huge mental struggle going from big breasts to literally nothing. I needed support. I agree something needs to change with the group. She’s for sure banking on it and censoring everyone.
Attachment
Every post I made was either rejected or later deleted. If you don’t send money quick enough I guess that’s what they do. Because the reasons given if any made no sense whatsoever.
View Attachment
Nicole’s group has an agenda, period. Look at all the women in need who were blocked and kicked out of her “support group”. Seriously, with so many other support groups for BII, not one of them acts immature like these mean girls in this group. Most will RESPECTFULLY answer questions and not just boot you out. Bottom line with her group is to follow HER agenda and not speak highly of surgeons who do not pay to be on her list (donate to her BS).
She is running the furtherest thing from a supportive group and time will destroy her, thankfully.
100% couldn’t agree with you more.
Someone needs to report her to the irs for her donations. She’s running a non profit that she profits from which is hilarious. I bet she isn’t paying uncle Sam
I am a holistic health practitioner who also suffered from Breast Implant Illness. I first found out about BII because a friend referred me to Nicole’s group. During the most vulnerable time of my post explant recovery I got deleted and blocked because she claimed that I spoke too much about Healing and Detoxification and she felt I was there to promote myself. Which is completely absurd. I was there for support. From what I understand all of my posts and comments there have been deleted.
This group needs to be removed completely. They are horrible human beings who are taking advantage of vulnerable suffering women.
I am a registered nurse health coach. I commented on a post when someone asked if eating keto would help them. I replied that I have been keto/real food for the last 11 years and I believed that this truly saved my life through my implant nightmare. She then blocked me and when she finally replied she asked if I was selling my services!? Wtf, I work for a hospital I am not selling anything. Then she added me back. I felt like she was picking on just me because some of the posts she approves are absurd. Anyway this does seem rather suspicious and it’s sad because I truly have had so much healing after explant.
I am on Nicole‘s group one of many and I had asked a question about how people feel about drains being used or not being used the risks and the benefits and she denied me which I felt was a very important question.
There’s not enough room to say all I need to regarding Nicole! My photos used and mislabeled to benefit her and her group. My doctor slandered for no other reason then to benefit her doctors more that pay her!
She is the Anna Delvey of the BII world! Lying and stealing!
Attachment
I am a healthcare provider myself and when I found out of BII, Nicole’s group had the most media coverage so I asked to join. I was quickly approved but when I tried to make my first post (all posts have to be approved and are, even then, sometimes deleted), my post was denied and I was told that I was a self-deprecating person and that she would not “subject” the other members to my negativity. I was floored as all I had said was that I didn’t like my breast pre-implant and I felt completely rejected at a time when I was in need of support.
Additionally, I made a post that WAS approved about full-capsule removal and how some surgeons who cannot get it all in one piece “en bloc” will safely remove all the tissue via cauterization in order to not puncture the lung. It quickly gained a lot of traction but when many women agreed that if all of the capsule is removed, that it’s the most important thing, not necessarily that it HAS to come in one piece, within seconds of the post turning away from the “EN BLOC OR NOTHING” mentality of the group, it was completely deleted. I reached out to Nicole’s own FB page as you cannot message the Admin on the Group page and received no response. I have since been blocked and I’m totally fine with that (and she never replied to my question).
In my opinion, this page is detrimental to women’s physical and mental health and should be shut down. It’s reflective of a communist dictatorship but on Facebook. People’s voices are not heard and only the “good” about explanting as well as the surgeons on “the list” are promoted. I am suspicious of any sponsorship.
View Attachment
I was blocked because I stood up for my doctor, Dr. Strawn.
I was blocked last year after explant, after donating to Nicole Daruda… because I asked if anyone had a bad reaction to the Covid vaccine… bc I had just explanted ruptured silicone implants and the vaccine knocked me on my ass.
She deleted it and blocked me.
I was weeks after explant and it put me in such a state of panic and depression to not have the support If that group… eye roll..
That group is about money, getting paid by drs, and having the same political beliefs. She said I violated by asking political question. Huh?
The excuses given for removing or rejecting posts are completely irrelevant amd make no sense. After being up up a bit one of mine was deleted with reason, spam. Another because I edited the post 7 times in 15 days with no new info added- I updated original post after surgery and in comments, I also corrected typos I noticed later amd then removed a photo of my face I no longer wanted there because it was ugly and I posted while just awaking from anesthesia. Then looked to see EVERY.SINGLE.POST fromy time with the group were also deleted. Like out of spite? Idk what the heck is wrong with those people but am glad there are plenty of other groups that actually allow us to support each other and don’t require a ‘membership fee’
Hi Cortney. I don’t know if you’ll ever see this but I am currently looking for an explant surgeon and I’d love to hear about your experience with Dr. Strawn. I live in Long Beach CA and Dr. Strawn is on my short list of doctor”d like to consult with. Thank you, Leanne
I went to refer a friend to Nicole’s group today. Couldn’t find it. I was like wait, what?? Did she really??
On another group people were complaining how she declined their posts and they would ask her why she declined them etc and she’d get mad argue with them and then block them. I chimed in on that, I mentioned that she did that to my posts too, twice. I didn’t understand why. I asked nicole she gave me a lame excuse. She probably saw me comment on that other site then blocked me because I was complaining about her. It’s mind blowing that she won’t let us post things that others are probably still going through. I was asking if others were having symptoms still after 2.5 yrs plus after explant STILL healing detoxing and having issues. I wanted opinions and seeking help and thought others may need to hear this. She wouldn’t even let me post that so I could get feedback from others in my same situation. After 2.5 yrs post explant I have stuff trying to come out of my skin and a few other issues. Anyway, I don’t get her mind set. I thought that was the purpose of her group. I was upset but guess I need to get over it. Going through enough stress and there’s nothing I can do. She needs to be stopped. Prayers and best of luck to all of us that are going through this horrible journey!❣🙏
Unfortunately, it’s impossible for me to share any posts/pictures that I shared on this page because I’ve been blocked. I’ve been violated because I shared personal stories and photos that she’s taken for her own personal use, possibly selling them to other sources. This woman needs to be prosecuted to the max and I’m not afraid to testify against her! She takes women at their MOST vulnerable stage in their lives and turns us all into victims. Sadly, I was affected by this rejection that immediately followed my surgery, but I have faith in God, which got me through it. Nicole is a horrible person. I heard that one of her admins committed suicide, which is something else that she should be investigated for. I hope she gets shut down and receives maximum fines for perjury and fraud!
Omg!! That’s horrible about an administrator if that’s accurate information. I’m sorry you also experienced such pain thanks to Nicole and what hopefully happened is you found that you’re also stronger than maybe you thought you were and can handle things that are tough.
I was removed and blocked from the group when someone asked which CBD balm I used to massage my scars and I answered them. I was removed and blocked from the group with no communication. My friend, also in the group reached out to moderators to ask why and let them know they made a mistake. She was also blocked. Up until then I had been doing weekly updates and photos on my recovery. It was very upsetting to suddenly lose my support group. These are not women helping women.
My only guess as to why I was blocked because my doctor was Dr. Khan of Novi. He refused to give her any donations to be on her list. She responded by stating he was making himself equal to her top 3 surgeons and he was not. She further went on to discredit his skill by stating he has only explanted for 2 years. But she never disclosed any of this until she was trying to discredit his skill. Shortly thereafter I found I had been blocked. I never knew why or could confirm why.
I was in the group and active. I mentioned having issues with her list. Having spent money to see doctors on her list that did not believe in BII. I was blocked and deleted from the group that day. When I confronted her publicly in another group she claimed I was deleted for being”rude”! I made a comment to make light of a woman’s partner not accepting her breast with implants. The original poster even thanked me for doing so. I was deleted when I needed info the most and felt violated !
I was in her group
Another poster asked for non toxic sunscreen since there had been an article about sunscreens and cancer. I posted
Yes Young Living has a non toxic reef safe sunscreen in both 10 SPF & 50.
That’s it I went to post something the next day & found a) my response was gone and b) I was prevented from responding.
I messaged her as to what happened and got no response other than read the rules
I went back read the rules
Noticed the no selling rule
Went back and said I wasn’t selling
I didn’t even mention I am a brand partner for Young living
Others responded with drugstore & name brands maybe their husbands work for them?
Bam I was blocked
She’s crazy